• Lesbian 

  Women who are attracted to their same gender.  

• Gay 

  Men who are attracted to their same gender. 

• Bisexual 

  Someone who is attracted to both genders, male and female. 

• Transgender 

“Trans” is the Latin Prefix “across from” or the “opposite side” of one's assigned gender at birth. 

One misconception is that all transgender individuals want to look, act, and be fully the opposite sex from what was assigned at their birth.  

For some, it may be a hairstyle or type of clothing they use for expression and authenticity, for others, they may want partial gender reassignment surgery, and others a full gender reassignment surgery. 

Some of these changes can be complex and significant. 

As with all areas of life we may be unfamiliar with, it is important to walk alongside people with patience and understanding, rather than jumping to conclusions or condemnation.  

The battles in our country over this issue are often presented at the two extremes, with little grace, wisdom, or understanding, creating a very reactive, judgmental “courtroom.” This severe reactivity can quiet and calm down when there is a safe place where the two sides can come together to reason with wisdom and understanding.  

• Questioning 

Some experience Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation in their own lives as a very simple or a black-and-white type of issue. But for the LGBTQIA individual, it may be much more of a journey. Acknowledging the various nuances that can arise can help create a safe place for someone to share what they are experiencing and questioning. It is important to watch out for stereotypes, jumping to conclusions, or letting shame dominate the conversation. 

• Queer 

In some circles, this is a derogatory and hurtful word to make fun of someone who doesn’t fit the stereotypes. But in the LGBTQ community, many embrace this word as best describing them, as they may not fit one explanation of how they see themselves and experience life. Some who identify as Queer may find that in both sexual orientation and gender identity, there are layers of feelings, thoughts, emotions, and experiences.  

When we get out of the reactive and fierce battlegrounds around gender and sexual identity, we discover we all have moments when one word (or many words) just can’t describe the situation or experience we had.  Statements like “I was left speechless…” or “That sunset was so beautiful words can’t describe it…” or “That deep-sea fishing trip was the best trip ever, I can’t begin to explain…” 

When Moses in the Old Testament came across the burning bush, it caused him to stop and ponder it, a bush that was on fire but not being consumed or burned up. This was quite unnatural. One might say “queer,” as the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it: “differing in some way from what is usual or normal.” 

The challenge is to allow ourselves the space to stop and ponder. 

Intersex people are born with a variety of differences in their reproductive anatomy and/or sex traits. This can include differences in genitalia, chromosomes, gonads, internal sex organs, hormone production, hormone response, and/or secondary sex traits. 

• The “a” comes from a Latin and Greek negation prefix meaning “not,” “without,” or “lacking.”  

• These individuals may have little to no desire for sexual intimacy with another.  

• Understanding this experience can help shed light on those in marriages or relationships where the other spouse or partner has no desire for sexual intimacy, many times leaving the other partner confused, blaming themselves, or blaming the other.  There are, of course, many reasons why a sexual relationship can be shut down, but Asexuality can be one of them. 

• Is added just to acknowledge that we are standing on the shore of an ocean of human experience, behavior, identity, and expression.  

• If we look at the amazing diversity of outward traits and characteristics of humans, it is not surprising that taking an inward look reveals just as much diversity, complexity, wonder, and mystery.